Denying conjugal rights within marriage has been a contentious topic since the early days of Christianity.
In his letters, the Apostle Paul addressed various aspects of marital relations, including the grounds for divorce.
When a spouse abandons their marital vows by neglecting intimacy and denying conjugal rights, it creates a severe strain on the marriage. This article explores the biblical basis for considering the denial of conjugal rights as grounds for divorce, examining scriptures and the implications of such actions.
Biblical Foundation for Conjugal Rights
Conjugal rights refer to the mutual obligations of sexual relations between married partners. The Bible is explicit about the importance of these rights within marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:2–5 provides a clear directive:
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his wife, and each woman with her husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and the wife to her husband. The wife has no authority over her body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
This passage emphasizes the mutual duty of sexual intimacy, highlighting that both spouses owe each other this crucial aspect of their relationship.
Abandonment and Divorce
In 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul addresses abandonment:
“But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
While the verse explicitly addresses the departure of an unbelieving spouse, its underlying principle can extend to cases where a spouse fails to fulfill their marital obligations, including sexual intimacy, which may lead to the dissolution of the marriage.
Denial of Conjugal Rights as Abandonment
A spouse who declines to participate in sexual and intimate activities is guilty of sinful abandonment. Marriage vows encompass the commitment to love, cherish, and meet each other’s needs, including sexual needs.
When one partner unreasonably denies these rights, it breaks the marital covenant, creating grounds for separation or divorce. Ephesians 5:22–24 and Colossians 3:18–19 provide further guidance on the marriage relationship:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. As the church submits to Christ, wives should also submit to their husbands in everything.”
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
These passages emphasize mutual respect and submission, indicating that withholding sex is contrary to God’s design for marriage.
Consequences of Denying Conjugal Rights
- Emotional and Physical Distance: The lack of sexual intimacy creates emotional and physical distance, eroding the bond between spouses.
- Increased Temptation: Deprived spouses may become more susceptible to extramarital temptations, as warned in 1 Corinthians 7:5.
- Resentment and Bitterness: The denied partner may harbor feelings of rejection and resentment, further straining the relationship.
- Spiritual Disharmony: Disobedience to God’s commandments regarding marital intimacy displeases Him and can lead to spiritual consequences.
Grounds for Divorce
Given the severe consequences of denying conjugal rights, such behavior is grounds for divorce. The abandonment of marital duties, including sexual intimacy, is a significant breach of the marriage covenant. As Paul states in 1 Corinthians 7:15, Christians are not bound to remain in situations where their partner has effectively abandoned the marriage, whether through physical departure or persistent neglect and denial of conjugal rights.
Real-World Implications
Every day, numerous Christian marriages suffer due to the denial of conjugal rights. This behavior often stems from one spouse, typically influenced by modern ideologies prioritizing individual desires over marital unity. The resulting emotional and physical distance can lead to infidelity, separation, and, ultimately, divorce.
Addressing the Issue
Christian couples should address the denial of conjugal rights through open communication and counseling. However, if one spouse remains hostile and unreasonable and continues to withhold intimacy, divorce may become a necessary option to preserve the well-being of the other spouse. Christians must seek guidance from church leaders and biblical counseling to navigate these complex situations.
Conclusion
The denial of conjugal rights is a serious issue that undermines the foundation of Christian marriage. It constitutes abandonment, which can be considered grounds for divorce. By understanding and adhering to biblical principles regarding marital intimacy, couples can avoid the pitfalls of neglect and build solid and God-honoring marriages. Christians must recognize the gravity of withholding conjugal rights and strive to fulfill their marital duties, reflecting Christ’s love and commitment within their union.